The hardest part is the irony, the almost deliberate difference between what was expected and the result, a contrast which often produces a chuckle. Except this time, it doesn't.
This time it's almost cruel. Maybe not "almost."
This time, the Supreme Court of Alabama conferred "personhood" on embryos frozen as part of in vitro fertilization, or IVF. As a result, IVF clinics in that state, concerned they might be held criminally liable for anything that happened to embryos in their control, opted to pause operations.
And freight companies, concerned they too might be held liable for the condition of any frozen embryos they transported out of the state, said they wouldn't take them to clinics in states that did not, at this point at least, share the Alabama Supreme Court's opinion.
So, couples hoping to finally accomplish their dreams of having a child via IVF in a state which prides itself on being "pro family" have discovered that, thanks to a ruling from the state's highest court, their hopes for that child are, at best, on hold.
Ironic.
As anyone who has spent even a few minutes in my presence likely knows, my wife and I have been incredibly blessed. We have four children and six delightful, healthy, happy, boisterous grandchildren.
There is a saying that grandparents don't love their grandchildren more than they love their children. It's just that grandchildren remind them of their children when they were that age, so it's like they get to love them from the start all over again. And that's very true.
It's also true there is no such thing as "adult children." They're always your children. And you love them and are proud of them and hurt for them and fear for them always and forever. You never quit being a parent.
So, when one of your daughters, whose greatest dream is to be a mother, discovers that's not possible without IVF, it's ironic. Cruelly ironic.
And when she and her husband undertake the grueling, tedious, painful and expense process of IVF, it's as terrifying for you as it is for her. Perhaps more so because the process is totally out of your control at a time when you just want to gather her in your arms and shield her and tell her it's going to be all right.
It has been all right. Twice. Two of those delightful, healthy, happy, boisterous grandchildren are "IVF" babies. The process, that grueling, tedious, painful and expensive process, worked. Like it would for many of those couples in Alabama, if only they were allowed to start.
That's the key, though. You have to be able to start. The process isn't magic. It's science, with milestones that have to be hit and medication that has to be taken and timing that has to be fairly exact. A dream delayed may very well be a dream denied. Or at least become even more complicated than it already is.
And starting all this under the shadow of the current debate adds even more stress to an already stressful situation, leaves families feeling even more anxious and at the mercy of those with no actual skin in the game.
Yes, I'm sure no one wanted it to be this way. Not the legislatures or the judges or the doctors or absolutely not the couples starting IVF. No one intended to make it harder than it already is. No one intended to start on a course that likely takes us to a very different place than originally intended.
And yet here we are.
But will we stay here? Already public outrage has caused some leaders in Alabama state government to propose legal changes to protect the IVF process.
Perhaps that outrage is also enough to keep other states from following a similar path, though if the times we live in have taught us anything, its that where dogma is involved, outrage tends to fall on deaf ears.
I obviously can't speak for the "IVF community." I can tell you my story and hope you understand the emotion and fear those involved, including their families, can feel.
And I have an ask of those involved in making critical decisions about IVF. Maybe you'll never understand what those who have to use it go through. Maybe you'll never feel empathy for them or their families. Maybe you'll never understand the emotions.
At least appreciate the irony.